Learning to Be a Godly Wife

I have been given the opportunity to share with some women lately about being a Godly wife. This is an excerpt from an email I sent to one of them. I thought someone else might find it helpful as well.

I wanted to share some verses with you about being a Godly wife. I'm by no means telling you that it is easy, but it is doable and it changed my marriage immensely. We struggled for years and not until I got to the point where I knew all I could change was myself, but I couldn't do that without the Lord, did things improve. I had to learn to depend on God for all of my needs to be met, trust Him to follow His word regarding my husband, trust that He would bless my obedience and I had to be willing to be unselfish. I put myself out there and began to treat my husband the way that I knew the Lord would want me to, regardless of what I was getting in return, and it turned our lives around completely. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. Patrick began to see a change in me and the best thing that happened was it caused him to want to be closer to the Lord as well. Here are some verses. I'm also gonna add some excerpts from some books I have read on the subject.

God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband. (The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."Genesis 2:18)

God's command to wives.(Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Epesians 5:22-24) Notice that this verse does not put conditions on submitting to your husband. It doesn't say, He has to be Godly, or reading the Word everyday, or spending time in prayer, etc. We are supposed to do this as unto the Lord. And it also does not describe the husband as a dictator. This is not God telling us to be doormats. He describes the husband as being like Jesus. We serve and submit to Jesus because He loves us and we love Him, we should also do those things for our husbands for the same reasons, but if we can't do it for those reasons, we must do it for the Lord.

Romans 14:12 says, Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. Somehow I doubt He's going to listen to my excuses about how I would have been the wife He asked me to be if that husband He gave me had just been a better man.

There is a book about marriage called "Love and Respect", it was given that title because we women desire to feel loved, but men desire to be respected. I once read in a book that when a man feels disrespected by his wife the feeling that he has is equal to the feeling that a wife has when a husband cheats on her. They feel betrayed. The surest way to show our husbands that we don't respect them is to act as if we do not trust them.

Everything that I do each day needs to glorify the Lord. Am I glorifying Him in how I respond to my husband? (So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31)

We are to do everything as if we are doing it to the Lord. Am I treating my husband in a way that is pleasing to the Lord? (Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23; "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40)

A description of love. Does my love for my husband look like this? (Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

The Traits of an Excellent Wife

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Proverbs 31:10-31

A couple of good books on the subject are "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace and "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. If you are a new Christian or are just beginning to really submit your life to the Lord and live for Him I would suggest that you begin with "The Excellent Wife".