I've been thinking on all I've learned over the years about friendships and isnecurities. We should be finding our security in Jesus and trusting Him to put the people in our lives that He desires to be there. If we don't have the friends that we would like to have, we should evaluate whether or not we are being a true friend. Can God trust us to be unselfish in our friendships? Or do we only want the friends that are constantly offering their help? What are our motives for friendship? Are we looking for what we can get out of it to have our "needs" met or are we willing to serve others and sharpen them. It seems like there are so many adults that forget that "to get a friend you have to be a friend". Are we frustrated because our friends don't call enough, or offer to help as often as we think they should, or don't get together with us enough, etc. ? Are we considering what their lives are like? I love my friends dearly and try to make sure they know it, but with working at home, homeschooling, the girls in dance, church ministry and just general homemaking, I have very little extra time to hang out or chit-chat. I love that stuff, it's just that the season of my life that I'm in does not afford me tons of time for that. Because of that I try to make sure that the time that I have with friends is fruitful, that I'm taking time for the friendships that I know the Lord is truly the center of, though we may laugh and chat and have a blast, inevitabely the talk will turn to the Lord. We're not spending time husband bashing or gossiping or complaining, we may share what we are struggling with and need prayer for, but not every little irritation about our home life or our church family or our other friends, etc. Not that I have never been guilty of those things, just that I am learning as the amount of time I have to spend with friends is so limited that it's not worth wasting time on such negative things.
Probably about 6 years ago I almost left a church for lack of friends. I'm so thankful that we didn't. The fact was I was needy. I was so insecure I was looking for friendships to fill me up, to make me feel better, etc. Seriously, who wants to be around someone like that. It's one thing to have real needs and a whole different thing to just whine and complain all the time about life. The reality was the Lord was not trusting me with friendships until I was willing to look to Him to meet all of my needs. I had to stop whining about everything not being just how I wanted it to be and trusting Him to provide exactly what I needed. Since coming to that point and looking to Him to put the people in my life that He desired to be there I feel so RICH with friendships. No I don't spend tons of time with my friends, but when we chat on the phone, at co-op, at church, on FB, read each others blogs, go to dinner, etc. It's such a sweet, sweet time and I'm so thankful that my Lord has taught to me these lessons and given me these friends.