Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A New Lease....

I feel as if I have a new lease on life. For the past year and a half I've worked from home. It seemeed like such a great opportunity when the job was offered to me. What stay at home Mom doesn't wish they could contribute somehow? The problem is that I'm not just a stay at home Mom. I'm a homeschooling Mom too and for the last 10 or so months my husband and I have also been responsible for a ministry at church. Also, for the past year and a half I have beat myself up for not being able to juggle it all well. Like I should be able to be super Mom and be a great wife, mother, teacher, director, employee and friend all at the same time. Well, I have been losing the juggling act for a very long time. I had no back-up at work and most offers to get me help fell through. I worked on every vacation that we took. I worked everytime I was sick and got VERY behind when I had bronchitis for 8 to 10 weeks. I worked when my kids where sick. I worked when I wanted to playing. It wasn't a full time job, but I still felt tied to it. So, after much prayer and consideration and literally months of what should I do. The Lord finally gave me my answer. I sat down to work yesterday and thought, " I wanna go to the park and have a picnic with my kids." and immediately knew in my spirit I needed to quit my job. I called my husband and as soon as I told him he told me to go for it. So, I did. I turned in my notice and I feel like I got confirmation that I am doing exactly the right thing. From 2 people that are supposedly my friends, I received such a cold reception. No well wishes, no understanding.... It's not like I made it hard on them. I assured them I would stay until someone was hired and things were all in order. I promised them that I would not leave them high and dry. Even though when I worked for them previously and found my own replacement and trained her and helped them open a new department at a new gym, they paid her significantly more money than they had paid me. Even though my being behind has been placed on my shoulders and no responsibility for the fact that they never followed through on getting me a back-up or getting me help. Somehow it seems I'm the bad guy. Maybe it's partially because they are mothers that work long hours and miss a lot of time with their children and think that I have it made because I work from home with my children here. That argument doesn't work for me though. It's not like my hubby makes a ton of money, so I don't have to work if I don't want to. Thankfully my husband makes decent money and works hard to provide for us, but when I became a stay at home Mom we lived well below the poverty level, while paying child suppport and having newborn premature twins. We lived like that for years. It was VERY hard, but it was a sacrifice we were willing to make. The money has been nice, but I began to count the cost....I refuse to continue to live a life of regrets, sitting in a corner in my bedroom at my desk, while my kids are fixing their own breakfast and lunch and living their lives without me. That is not what God called me to and I will not continue to do it and I will not apologize for it.

We are looking very forward to some freedom. I have lots of plans for us to make up for some lost time. I can't wait!

2 comments:

The Arnold Family said...

I am with you.

I have been loosing the juggling act too, and something is going to have to give in my life, even if only for a season. So Im praying about it and still feel like Im waiting on God for a direct answer. If I don't get one, I will be "stepping out of the boat"...

How wonderful Patrick is. You are so blessed!

Whitmorekru said...

I am so Happy for you, It is a bad feeling when you decide to do something and then the kids,your home, your husband all pay the price. I have been there and there is such a freedom from letting it go and doing and being who God wants you to be. God provided before and he will provide now! I really am so Happy for you and your doing a Great Job!