Wednesday, February 17, 2010

No Idea What to Title This Post

I am having an about to scream moment. It has finally occurred to me that 2 out of my 3 children have to have their hands held through getting anything done. It's driving me batty. You'd think after dealing with one like that for 12 years I would have enough patience for it or at least know how to handle it. I'm so frustrated. I can't get them to complete their school work unless I hover and I sure can't get them to complete their chores without constant supervision. It seems sometimes that I'd be better off doing it myself, but that would teach them nothing. What are they learning by me walking them through every single process, every single day, over and over again? When they get into the world no one will do that for them. I don't feel like I'm doing them any favors, but if I don't do what I'm doing nothing gets done. Oh and on the nothing gets done front, no wonder I feel like I'm barely treading water most days. If I don't stay on top of them nothing that they need to do is completed, but if I do stay on top of them, most of what I need to do does not get completed. I struggle with whether this is a behavior problem or something else. I do believe there are some behavior aspects to it and I am trying to work on them. Please pray for me for the next couple of weeks as I work hard to get a handle on some issues in our home. It feels like right now all I'm doing is discipline and training. That's what happens when I become inconsistent and realize that I've got to reign things back in. In my defense the inconsistentcy began with all the crazy illness we've had and I just didn't get back on the bandwagon until I felt like I was going to go nuts in this house. So, that's my rant for today and what it all boils down to is that I cannot do this alone. I need Jesus to walk me through it or I will flub it all up royally and will struggle with sanity. I need Him to help me have peace in the process and to help me remember that these moments of discipline and training are eternal moments that will help them to become all that He desires for them to be. I also need to be alert to the lessons He's trying to teach me through all of this.

Maybe I just needed to vent, to get my thoughts in order. I love blogging......


Anonymous said...

Try this.......
Add fun into the schedule.
I know you may have fun time during the day but let it show up where they can actually read it on the schedule. Put things they enjoy doing to happen right after their chore. It doesn't have to be something HUGE just a little something to motivate them. It gives them something to look forward to. Think about it even us as adults think that as soon as we get the dishes done or whatever else it may be we can sit down and read for a while or watch a movie with our family. It's our something to look forward to.

Also try shortening the load. I got exhausted just reading their chore list. Only make it one chore in the morning, one in the afternoon, then they can clean room up right before bed. Then maybe when they get that down pat add in the rest. They are still very young they have plenty of time to get it right don't get discouraged.

God Bless!

squeeli2 said...

We do try to add fun in. We have a LOT of family game times and there is very often game time among the children, play time and reading.

Our philosophy is that they must earn priveleges and it has been our experience that if we don't get all of the work out of the way first, the focus is lost even more so. I know their lists look long, but as I said, my husband and I do a lot of the work for them. Also, I work from home and am responsible for a ministry. I have a lot on my plate and not a lot of spare time. I am not trying to make my children pick up my slack, but the fact is they are the ones making most of the messes. We are working on personal responsibility and doing a job well and if they grab a hold of that, their chores will be very easy each day. If everyone puts their dishes in the dishwasher as they are finished with them and I take care of the meal dishes, then whoever has the kitchen, really has very little work to do. That goes the same with all of the other areas of the house. We all worked really hard on Tuesday of this week, so yesterday it took the kids an hour or less to complete all of their chores. As a homeschooling family where the children are home all day, I just don't think that 2-3 hours of school work and 1 hour of chores is too much for them, especially since the rest of the day is basically free time.

I always appreciate advice, so I'm certainly not disregarding it, just explaining our position and why our lifestyle at the moment necessitates this kind of schedule.